Tolabor birth doula training workshop

I spent all this past weekend at an amazing doula workshop. I met some amazing women. I was truly inspired by my instructor. I learned so much. I have had three children myself, I didn't realize there was so much more to learn. And I know I will continue to learn.

I wish I could really articulate the way I felt after the workshop last night. All I can say is, it was magical.

Its started Friday afternoon and thanks to the evil battery in my phone I was an hour late to start. They had not even finished introductions when I walked in, but I was completely stressed out. NOT how I wanted to start out the weekend. But it was okay. I learned to calm instantly. The group of women in the group welcomed me with open arms and were so kind.

Saturday I got to watch more births then I can count (On DVD.) I learned how to do palpation. It was completely awesome feeling the shape of the baby inside another woman's body. I was amazed when I finally felt the perfectly round head of a 38 week fetus through it's mama's belly.

On Sunday we talked a lot about VBACs and interventions and it was just a really intense day.

The one thing I REALLY need to work on is learning to shut up and listen. I like to socialize and often I interrupt people (I don't do it on purpose but I have been told so many times that I do it, I must.) As a doula I need to be invisible at birth and I need to be there to listen. And I intend to.

It was a whirlwind weekend and I missed my babes so. I still have not had a good nights sleep since Wednesday night. I hope to remedy that tonight. I love you and everyone everywhere. xooxoxox

"She's going to see my vag!"

My very first (squee!) client happens to be a member of my book club. So we are friends. Last night was our monthly meeting. We were standing in the kitchen of this month's host and I mentioned to someone that I am her doula. So she giggles and says, "Yeah, she's going to see my vag!" And we all had a laugh about that.

Later I took her aside and told her that I absolutely WILL not look at her genitals if that  makes her feel uncomfortable. We laughed and talked about how at most hospitals births everyone and their mama sees your genitals during birth. She said she honestly doesn't care one way or the other.

But I wanted the world to know how serious I was about that little part of birth. It is NOT my job to catch the baby or perform any kind procedure. I have no business down there. When everyone else is staring at your vulva watching the miracle of birth, I will be holding your hand looking you in the eyes and supporting YOU.

Although I HEART little babies and birth, it will be my job to be there for what YOU need. There will be PLENTY of doctors and nurses for the baby. My only goal is to help you in any way that I can.

Seeing new babies, minutes after birth will be just a really really awesome perk of this job.

Happy 2012

It is a new year! I hope it will be a great one! This month I will attend the ToLabor birth doula training workshop I have been waiting for! I am so excited. I look forward to hard work, learning and most of all BABIES!

The first challenge is going to be finding 6 pre-certification births to attend. It is a kind of a catch-22. I need to attend 6 births to become certified, but most people want you to be already certified before becoming their doula. I mean, your child's birth is one of the most significant events that will happen in one's life. It is wise to be choosy. But I need 6 births so I can be a certified doula and support women through this most important time in their life! *sigh*

So far I have one client, due in the first week of June. So that is definitely a start. I have been spending my free time sending emails to midwives, doulas and birth centers trying to get the word out that I am a doula-in-training and am offering my services for free until certification.

So that is my journey so far. Just the thought of helping other women makes me happy and fulfilled. I look forward to this year!

Documentaries that have inspired me

Some of the things that first inspired me were documentaries. I love them. I love docs that make me want to be a better person and change the world. But many have inspired me to become a doula.

One of my favorites was Babies. It follows the first year of 4 different babies from all over the world. It is fun to see how different cultures treat babies/birth. And I just loved that there wasn't much speaking, and the film still said so much.

Of course the most inspiring movie I think I have ever seen was The business of being born. The executive director was Ricki Lake and the directer was Abby Epstein. It was so eye opening and touching. I was so excited when they did "More business of being born" also! I have yet to watch the 4 episodes but I plan to do so soon.

One of the first documentaries I ever watched was the miracle of life. I ended up re-watching it with all three of my pregnancies. It was fun to imagine what was happening inside of my body. I felt closer to my babies that way.

Another film I love is National Geographic's the science of babies. The whole idea of referring to a infant as "the human baby" is great. It makes you think about how we are just animals, after all.

And of course I am inspired by all of the many birthing shows on television. Such as a baby story, maternity ward, and I didn't know I was pregnant.

Clearly I was addicted to birth without even realizing it. :)

On Epidurals

A good friend of mine told me, "I do not need a Doula, I am getting an epidural." And while I understand why she would say that, I disagree. Although a mother who experiences a natural birth might seem to need more support, ALL laboring moms need support. As a Doula-in-training, I am learning so much about labor. I would love to support any woman, regardless of how she chooses to deal with the pain. Even a scheduled cesarean section birth mom needs support.

I am all for epidurals. I had one with all three of my children. My only regret is the side effects that happened afterward, that I did no research to educate myself about. My last birth was the worst. I experienced the worst tension headaches for a month after my epidural. Even when my baby was resting peacefully, I could not. The back of my head and neck hurt so much. I had no idea it could even happen, but it can.

My other experience with epidurals, it took me what seemed like FOREVER to walk again. At one point the nurse had to carry me to the toilet because she was insisting I empty my bladder, but I could not feel my legs enough to walk. That was definitely one of the most humiliating moments of my life, one I would not wish for anyone ever.

The decisions you make during your birth are so very personal. It is not my place, nor anyone else's to judge you based on those decisions. A doula's place is to support and encourage. And someday I truly hope to be a full fledged supportive Doula.

My reason

I have thought about becoming a Doula since before my second child was born. When we started trying to conceive, I read every birth book I could get my little hands on. It that I realized how little CHOICE and information I had been given during my first pregnancy and birth. I was only 18 and I basically just went along with whatever my doctor told me. I read a few birth books but I trusted my OB/GYN knew what she was doing. When I went into labor at 38 weeks 6 days, I waited until my contractions were 5 minutes apart and went to the hospital. They admitted me, started and IV and Pitocin without really asking me. After a while I was given an epidural. My water was broken for me. When it came time to push I was given an episiotomy and not even told about it.  That is the part that infuriates me the most, I was not given a choice.

It wasn't until I was 21 and I become more informed about birth that I became angry about my first one. I was determined to have a more natural birth the second time around. But then I was married. I was not the only one who had an opinion about the birth of our child. My husband was uncomfortable with the idea of me delivering our baby outside of a hospital. So in the end I delivered my second and third children at hospitals. And I still felt out-of-control. I felt that my husband would never understand because he is a man. 

And this is why I have a passion to become a doula. I feel that had I had an advocate that was there JUST for me, I would have been A LOT happier with how my births went. I want to be there to support other women in any way they need me. I intend to help my clients become educated about birth so they can make informed decisions It will not be my job to convince or change a woman's mind about her birth, it will be my pleasure to ensure she gets a birth experience that will bring on feelings of happiness rather then anger. 

World Prematurity Awareness Day

November 17th (today) is World Prematurity Awareness Day.  Currently 1 in 8 babies in the U.S. are born premature. Worldwide about 13 million are born too soon each year 13 million families go through.

To help support and honor this cause you can donate to March of Dimes. 

Babies should be born at least 39 weeks gestation because before that they may have complications and many health problems. Babe's organs need to mature in order to work properly once outside of the womb. Many premature babies have trouble feeding. Their tiny mouths are too small for mom's breast. Or they cannot suck and have to have a feeding tube inserted. My nephew who was born at 37 weeks could not properly digest regular formula or breast milk, he had to be on a special expensive formula for babes like him. 

Today I am sending my love to all the premie parents around the world. Every baby is a miracle, even more so are the tiny babes that must fight so hard to survive an early birth.